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Literature by Ashikage-Ryuukenshin


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May 17, 2012
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I am not the most Beautiful.

I am not the most Clever.

I am not the most Athletic.

I am not the most Creative.

But I am something you are not.

I am Me.
I was thinking about this last night. I have always been self-conscious about my face and actions. But then again.. who isn't? Really?

I am not liked by many men. Or many women. Generally, I am not regarded. My other friends are, of course, more naturally picked. Occasionally, I am jealous of this. .. But I think.. Why?

I compare myself to others too easily, and I don't want to do that. I am happy for being me. But sometimes I wish I could be more. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

I'm grateful for friends who support me. I'm grateful to my dear friend Ayla for telling me: "Shut your face!" anytime I'm down about myself.

I'm grateful for all of them, who constantly pick me up. And I don't want to be a burden on them, so I'm not complaining anymore. ... Maybe once in a while. C'mon, everyone does.

Even if I'm not really much to look at, even if I fail epically, I am me.

Life (especially in high school) isn't about finding those who like you and want to date you. It'll happen when it happens.

Sure, I'm not like a lot of the girls at school who are picked up and go on dates and stuff. In fact.. I've never really been asked out on a date before. Officially that is.

I may be lonely a lot, but I'm still happy that I'm me and I have such great friends. Yeah. I'm a sap. Shush.

I'm not changing myself for anyone. ^^
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:iconblackbutterfly112:
BlackButterfly112 Featured By Owner May 26, 2012
this is really beautiful. i love you, dont ever change. :meow:
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:iconpanicdicedpanda:
PanicDicedPanda Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Love you too. :meow: Of course not! I'm apparently what makes things fun after school. :iconspazplz:
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:iconblackbutterfly112:
BlackButterfly112 Featured By Owner May 30, 2012
hahaha yes, yes you do. :meow:
:iconspazplz:
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner May 24, 2012
You are definitely not alone in this. We may be loners, but we're loners together (yeah, I know -- Python got there first).
I have always been a nonentity in person, so much so that I learned how to enter a room and even talk to people, yet have them swear, later, that I was never there. A friend tried to convince me to apply at a certain federal entity that values this sort of thing, but I'd rather live longer, thank you.
It probably seems cold comfort, now, but I'd bet the "beautiful" girls in your school get tired of every date's wandering hands reaching for the goodies. When someone asks you out, they'll be reaching for your heart (and not as an excuse for goodies...)
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:iconpanicdicedpanda:
PanicDicedPanda Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, as awkward as the statement sounds, it made me laugh. That's most likely true, seeing as our school has a lot of err... interesting females..

I don't mind being the one that isn't noticed as much, 'cause a lot of my friends come to me to vent or blurt out their problems. I'm not good with words, but I'm good at listening. It's when I'm trying to get involved and pointedly pushed away that it gets to me. (Happened a little on the trip I just got back from.) But I'm involved in many things, just not as often or in certain categories as my other friends. But! I'm pretty good with being noticed by the people who take the time to notice me. :)
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner May 28, 2012
Welcome back! We asked everyone not deviate while you were gone so you wouldn't have to catch up... :D
Listening is a true talent, and unappreciated. You can convince people to solve their own problems with barely a word, just by occasional monosyllables like, "Really?" or "Why?" and they still credit you, heh.
We have a new deviant whose work I just added to my favorites, and who wrote about that "seventh wheel" feeling, in case you're interested...
When I was in high school, I was competing for attention against a lot of amazing guys who easily outclassed me on the "interesting" scale. Day one: I met a group debating socialism versus democracy and whether you can achieve either...and one of them was juggling on a unicycle. No one thought that was odd.
I met the son of an ambassador, a really nice guy with every kind of black belt or mastery you could have in martial arts -- or did when he finished his mastery in "staff fighting" first year...
But, hey -- I recently saw a class reunion photo, and I not only kept my hair, unlike many, but grew a hell of a lot more! So they're richer and more powerful, but I look more like Wolverine. Take that!
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:iconpanicdicedpanda:
PanicDicedPanda Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... Pffft.... :XD: Ahahahaha! I like the ending there! Niiiice! Yeah there are a great deal of.. girls that outclass me.. but uh.. I can.. >>; .. do.. well not social things.. but..er.. <<; Oh look. A walrus.

Yeah, I generally nod and pull faces that work accordingly with what they have to say. Though recently, I've been contacted more through texting, which makes things a tad bit more difficult to reassure or just listen to people when I kinda have to .. use words.. Sometimes I roleplay -Nods- and it works out. xP
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner May 28, 2012
Well, one thing that works these days is to simply take an interest in something obscure. You can learn Mayan or teach yourself magic or, as a friend used to woo his wife when they first met, make origami animals out of anything. And never tell anyone you can or it comes across as desperate. When they stumble across one of my eccentricities, like being to read and write upside-down, it hits them like a sack of cats -- really lively cast!
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:iconpanicdicedpanda:
PanicDicedPanda Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Whoa, you can? Sweet! :O Well! I'll certainly try something new and see how that goes. But for now.. I need to refix my paper that decided to commit suicide while I was gone. >:E
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner May 28, 2012
Yeah, it's time I rest up for my day off tomorrow ;), too.
Yes, and I never really set out to do that, either; I just tried it of necessity and slowly grew skilled at it. There's always someone better, though; one of our presidents could write letters with both hands, simultaneously, in different languages! Sheesh, show-off!
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